“There is no one perfect way to be a good mot he r. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children… What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply.” Elder M. Russel Ballard Mothering/parenting is rewarding, but it is also exhausting! It takes more energy, resources, and stamina than many people realize, and it changes our lives forever. As we honor mothers on Mother’s Day, I want to give moms, both new and experienced, gratitude and approval to enjoy a day of care they deserve.
Many women have romanticized about how wonderful being a mom would be, but minimized what a huge responsibility it really is. How do we control stress and its accompanying sometimes guilt (which is standard issue with motherhood) from taking over our perception that our efforts are worthwhile or not? Here is what some famous and not – so – famous mothers and fathers say helped them.
Rose Kennedy shared, “I looked on child-rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I could bring it.
Ask yourself how you see parenting. What dreams, skills, and resources do you bring to it? How will you use them? Have you set healthy Goals for your child, encouraging their independence to have a positive efficaciousness toward self and society.
In his book, The Strong Family, author Charles R. Swindoll reminds us, “Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” Take time to really listen to children, read books to them, watch movies together, and participate in projects of shared interest. Enjoy your children! Teach them. Invest in them! Celebrate successes! And, be patient.
Remember the “big” picture. Mary Calderone reminds us, “Our children are not going to be just “our children” – they are going to be other people’s husbands and wives and the parents of our grandchildren.” Our work impacts all future generations!
Some days it is so easy to celebrate in the love and pride our children inspire. At other times, the drudgery of daily chores and “todo” lists makes us feel like Cinderella before the Ball. Make arrangements to spend time with people who support you. Schedule a break in the day as you need one. Take a few deep breaths and find a minute or two alone to be more relaxed and present. This can really help you to “act” instead of “react.” When your actions aren’t exactly what you want your children to imitate, apologize. Think of specific ways you can behave more constructively next time. Possibly you can trade child care with other parents so that you can have “alone” time! Also, remember to eat healthily to give yourself energy and get good rest.
There once was a cartoon of a mother looking at her sleeping children and saying, “If only I could think of them as sleeping instead of recharging!” Experienced moms can say it’s true that “When they are little, they’re a handful.” It’s also true, “When they’re big, they’re a heart full!”
For more information or to schedule a program locally about financial management, nutrition, health & wellness, parenting education, OHCE contact Janis Risley, at the OSU Cooperative Extension Service in Sequoyah County at 918-7754838 or janis.risley@okstate. edu.
